Dyed In The Wool Conservative: Laughing At Obama

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Laughing At Obama

From the moment he appeared on the national stage, through his inevitable nomination, to his historic election, triumphant coronation and landmark first year in office, Barack Obama has possessed everything a great leader needs...save one.

His only inadequacy has been the dearth of citizens willing to openly laugh at him.

ScrappleFace.com editor Scott Ott's newest work, "Laughing at Obama: Volume I" fills that void and provides readers of all political stripes with their just entitlement...our generation's great American birthright, to mock Barack Obama.

Be among the first in your office, neighborhood, or environmentally-sensitive transit pool to read this first-draft of the history of our 44th president...an edition destined to be bronzed and placed in the atrium of the Obama Presidential Library (either in Detroit, Guantanamo Bay or Crawford, Texas).

Read "Laughing at Obama" even before he takes full ownership of the presidency which he inherited from George W. Bush (if that should happen).

Order it here

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Obama's Top Ten Lies

1. Fiscal Responsibility!
2. Not one penney. I am not going to raise your taxes, not one penney.
3. If you like your health care plan, you can keep it.
4. ObamaCare negotiations to be broadcast on C-Span!
5. Gitmo will be closed by Jan 20, 2010. Not as easy as it sounded. (so now the plan is to move them to Illinois, Gitmo North... great solution, BRILLIANT)
6. Get tough with Iran if they don't open their doors to inspectors, etc., etc. by December 31, 2009.
7. Russia will help with Iran if we abandon the missle shield in Eastern Europe. Barack.. it's called bluffing! I know you're an elite, but you have heard of poker, haven't you?
8. Three Million new jobs. Green jobs? I liked my old brown job.
9. Lobbyists won't find a job in my White House. Oh Puleeze.
10. Drum roll please..... Americans deserve a government that is open, honest, and accountable. New transparency and program integrity initiatives will be started that will open the doors of the Government to the public and help make sure that taxpayer dollars are spent wisely and carefully.

Read the entire BS here

I just have to keep going...

11. Hey Barry, where is that Nobel prize money? Which charities are going to benefit? Probably the Malia and Sasha Education fund. Its nice to be the King. All Hail Lord Obama.

For those that think the Constitution 'grants' Americans our freedoms.

A Former Liberal Says Goodbye to George W. Bush

Posted By Eli Bernstein On February 2, 2009 @ 12:00 am In . Positioning, Opinion, Politics, US News 97 Comments
I didn’t always like George.
There was a time I thought of him as a stupid stooge, a man undeserving of power. There was a time I thought he had shattered America’s greatest asset — its democracy.
I had followed every twist and turn in that infamous ballot count, read all the relevant legal proceedings, and felt personally wronged when on December 12, 2000, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled against the man I voted for. I was so incensed by what I saw as an appointment against the will of the people that I inquired about rescinding my U.S. citizenship. Thankfully, I never followed through.
It was nine months later that I felt American again, and a proud one at that.
As I watched the second plane crash into the World Trade Center, I realized the world had changed forever; that a dark new reality has set in; that the world my children will grow up in will not be the world of my childhood.
I understood this in seconds and so did George, my old foe. Some have still to grasp this.
On that day, George grew into his role as leader of the free world. Hanging chads no longer mattered when smoke filled the skies of Manhattan. A man not known for his words was saying exactly what I needed to hear. He spoke on that fateful day:
Terrorist attacks can shake the foundations of our biggest buildings, but they cannot touch the foundation of America. These acts shatter steel, but they cannot dent the steel of American resolve.
America was targeted for attack because we’re the brightest beacon for freedom and opportunity in the world. And no one will keep that light from shining.
It was comforting to hear of good and bad, of right and wrong. It was great to hear some answers when all around me were questions. I now know that this strength of George led ultimately to his demise and I am sure that he understood this as well, but by the then the course was set and history is unwavering.
As a former liberal, I had to get used to living with George’s moral clarity, a world of black and white, good and evil, Cowboys and Indians. But then I realized, even black and white has its place on a full color spectrum. There is a time and place for monochrome. I also realized that the alternate view, proposed by the liberal camp, was even more limiting in its spectrum. Unlike George, their world was painted a single shade of murky grey, a world where perpetrator and victim were morally equaled. This alternate view suggested that America had brought September 11 upon itself and should see itself as its own aggressor and its aggressor as its victim. In this topsy-turvy weltanschauung, old allies and long held values should be abandoned for the sake of expediency. It is the same logic that blames the rape victim for her ordeal: she should have never worn that mini skirt in the first place.
George recognized that the problem was more fundamental than America’s mini skirt; that Osama and the 9/11 crew had little grievance about U.S. policy in the Arab-Israeli conflict but were rather fiercely opposed to the spread of secular thought in the Middle East; that the best way of beating them was to do just that, spread democracy in the region, by whatever means necessary. A government by the people and for the people has no interest in perpetuating ongoing conflict. George was not the first American to hold such a universalist view of freedom and democracy. Some years ago, his predecessors wrote:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just Powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government to effect their Safety and Happiness.
The world has changed a lot since these words were written, and America has changed too — with men and women of all races allowed to vote and run for office — but mankind has not changed much. We all still strive for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. George believed this was true of everyone, even the Arabs.
The Iraqi elections proved that the unspoken notion of non-interventionalists that Arabs are (a) incapable or (b) undeserving of democracy was indeed a fallacy. It took a man of black and white to rid the world of this grey notion. The premise of basic human rights is set on universal principals that apply to all people at all times at all places — an absolutist notion. The relativist approach that opposes the imposition of democracy has pushed human rights championship away from their camp to the political right.
An so I too found myself on the other side of politics. I had become a neocon and have loved George ever since.
I believe history is likely to prove George right. We may not know the full impact of his actions for some decades to come, and by then I know he is unlikely to get the credit for the wheels he set in motion. Meanwhile, we have witnessed democratic elections in Iraq and Palestine; the institution of parliaments in Qatar and Bahrain; municipal elections in Saudi Arabia; Shura (Consultation) Council elections in Oman; increased allowances for opposition parties in Syria, Egypt, and Tunisia; a royal decree granting women rights in Morocco; and the renunciation of terrorism by Libya — to name but a few developments. As George said back in March 2005, “the trend is clear. In the Middle East and throughout the world, freedom is on the march.” His ally John Howard backed this view up when he [1] stated that “these things wouldn’t have been thought remotely possible a year ago and I have no doubt that … one of the reasons … was the overthrow of Saddam Hussein.” Even old foes like Walid Jumblatt, the leftist Lebanese Druze leader, shared the view:
I was cynical about Iraq. But when I saw the Iraqi people voting three weeks ago, eight million of them, it was the start of a new Arab world. The Berlin Wall has fallen.
The Berlin Wall has fallen once again while your news reporters were looking the other way, counting body bags in Iraq and actively embroiling themselves in partisan politics.
And so I bid farewell to the man who sacrificed his legacy to protect America’s greatest asset, freedom and democracy. Ironically, he had become the defender of the asset I had once accused him of robbing.
Article printed from Pajamas Media: http://pajamasmedia.com
URL to article: http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/a-former-liberal-says-goodbye-to-george-w-bush/

"Once upon a time there was a very happy couple. Their names were freedom and capitalism. They married and had many wonderful children. Their names were independence, self-worth, hard work, dignity, charity, faith and hope. They all lived happily for many years and the children respected their parents and loved them both very much. But freedom and capitalism later had several naughty children, very naughty. They weren't so respectful and never appreciated their parents. Their names were wealth envy, environmentalism, animal rights activism, racism, feminism, ultra liberalism. These evil children blamed their parents for everything and hated their parents, freedom and capitalism. In fact, these unappreciative children began to hate their parents since they didn't realize their parents gave them everything they had and didn't realize that they wouldn't even exist without their parents. They hated their parents so much, they began to plot with their neighbors to kill their parents and to keep their home. Their neighbors' names were socialism and communism who on the outside were a very lovely couple but inside they were very, very ugly. They and their children, whose names were despair, poverty, hopelessness, suffering, and repression had always been welcomed into every neighborhood they had ever lived in. But then they were eventually thrown out after years of suffering and the loss of many lives. So late one night in total darkness because socialism and communism did everything in darkness and the way from the light of the truth, while everyone was asleep, wealth envy, environmentalism, feminism, animal rights, egged on by their younger obnoxious brother, Hollywood, disguised socialism and communism and let them into the house of freedom and capitalism. It wasn't hard, for the two parents, freedom and capitalism, always left their gates and their door open for everyone. Wealth envy led the way because he knew the house oh, so well. The evil children led socialism and communism throughout the house, one room at a time. And one at a time they killed hard work, then dignity, then independence, self-worth, charity and faith. They finally found the room of freedom and capitalism and killed them as well. It wasn't hard to do, since freedom and capitalism always left their door unlocked and open for everyone. Only hope survived. Hope survived hiding in the closet. She ran out during the ensuing celebration. After socialism and communism moved in, things went well for a while but then they decided they didn't like freedom and capitalism's evil children, either. They wanted their own children to have the rooms in their new house. So late one night in total darkness because socialism and communism did everything in darkness and away from the light of the truth, they sent their children to kill freedom and capitalism's remaining evil children. Poverty and suffering killed environmentalism and animal rights first, for they were so hungry, they had to kill all the animals for food and the trees for their wood. And besides, why should animals have rights if people don't? Hopelessness killed liberalism, the retarded brother of communism. Then poverty, suffering, and repression killed feminism, the retarded sister of liberalism. And Hollywood, the young obnoxious son of freedom and capitalism, was also killed. Finally, wealth envy, who led the attack on his parents, died at the hands of poverty since there was nothing left to envy.
So socialism and communism and their children, poverty, despair, hopelessness, suffering, repression lived in the once beautiful home of freedom and capitalism which was now in great disrepair and they all lived sadly ever after. All that was left of the family of freedom and capitalism was hope, who was quietly hiding in the woods.”
Dr. John Rossi

Now that capitalism is waning in America and socialism is on the rise, it is time to re-think how we will continue to provide for our families. No longer can we count on the fact that if you work hard you will be rewarded. No longer can we rely on the fact that it is every citizen’s responsibility to provide for self and family. No longer is it only those that cannot take care of themselves that deserve the government’s assistance. Now we are all deserving! Now that success is punished and failure is rewarded, we need to figure out how we can profit from failure. It’s like Darwinism reversed, or standing on its head, or inside-out. In today’s world only the deficient will succeed; or at least less pessimistically, we will all end up equal. The old adage ‘Life isn’t fair’ doesn’t apply anymore, we are more and more striving to make life fair for everyone. Soon we will all be equal, no matter how hard we work or toil or study. If you have any excess, there will always be someone that has less, and they will always be more deserving. And ‘excess’ is determined by our increasingly omnipotent government.

Why should anyone today struggle to save for a home of their own? There are many citizens of this world that don’t have a home. Why should one be more deserving than another? It won’t be long before we are all made equal, we are well on our way down that road.

Dear Nora,
Prior to the election of The One, I would have given you all kinds of sage advice as how to succeed in life: study hard-get good grades, work hard-get a good job, don’t allow yourself to be a victim-only you can determine your path in life; just as my father advised me. But the world has changed, and we will have to change with it. I also have to amend my thinking to conform to this new world order. So here is my revised counsel with regards to the future that is fast approaching.

Don’t study too hard, all students will soon be graded with a down the middle ‘C’. Smart will get you nowhere. You will just be persecuted for having independent thought and not being one of the collective. Any success you have in the classroom will just be stripped from you, not all will be as smart as you, and conformity will be enforced. You won’t learn a thing from falling down and mustering the fortitude to get up and try again. Remember success and failure is no longer tolerated in our government run schools.

Don’t work too hard. Back in the day, I would have drummed in to you, ‘Always work harder than the next guy, and you will succeed.’ But not anymore. My advice: don’t overachieve, don’t be too successful, don’t rise to the top. Why work so hard when you are obligated to hand over your earnings to provide for those that don’t? Just stay home and watch Oprah or take a liking to vodka (google the former USSR). I’m sad to say this but your destiny has been determined for you. You can no longer succeed and no longer fail, you are destined to be one of the masses. Everything is going to be provided for you: home, food, healthcare, job. Just like the utopian country of Cuba; no worries, no risk, no reward, no jobs, no food, no medicine. But everyone is happy, if you are not, don’t say anything, or you will be silenced.

Individualism is dead. It’s the collective that matters. Force will be used to ensure equality. Don’t speak out against the policies of the socialists, you will be punished.

Don’t bother to save any money. Soon anything that you have saved will be taken to provide for those that have not. The 401K deduction to encourage saving will soon be eliminated. Money in the bank (capital) means independence, and the government doesn’t want that, they want us to be dependent on them for our existence, and the more the government provides, the more dependent we become (which means votes!). Its all a nice downward spiral until there is absolutely no one left with any ‘capital’ to provide for those in need. Capital also means investment, which means jobs, which means independence, which means we don’t rely on the government to provide. And that is not the desired outcome.

Simply put:
Capitalism = Freedom = Individualism
Socialism = Servitude = Collectivism

Nora, I’m sorry you won’t have the same opportunities that I had to get ahead, but I will do all I can to help you succeed in this new global economy. And trust in the Lord, He is always in control. Your Daddy.